A Puppet With Steel Strings
by JustBFree
Summary: A story about Yuriko Oyama, how she became Lady Deathstryke and what happened to her after Alkali Lake.
1. Chapter 1

I was a child once. A simple girl, with friends and a family, and dreams of going to college to become a doctor or a scientist like my father…but that was a long time ago. So far back, in fact, that I cannot remember the faces of my friends or much of the language that was once my native tongue.

My father was a scientist at a company in connection with the American government. He was working in the defense department with a man by the name of William Stryker. He was a friend of my father's. He was often invited over for dinner, and treated as an honored guest in our home. My mother always served him extra helpings of the beef or fish wish rice and vegetables and she always had me ask if he would like another drink or some dessert.

I had known William for years- most of my life. He was a trusted friend and colleague of my father's, and it had been his idea to have me work with them as an assistant. It'd look good on a resume, and in my college applications, he had said.

I was there.

I helped them develop the adamantium that put an end to the lives of countless test subjects and victims of Wolverine's terrifying rage. I don't know when things began to change at the lab. It had been a swift change from pleasant routine to consuming suspicions. I had noticed that William would look at me oddly, and it was some time before I realized why.

I was a mutant- a twin in my abilities to Logan.

We were alike, but completely different. The man volunteered for the procedure, it was highly experimental and would more than likely end his life. My father and I traveled to a place called Alkali Lake to aid William with the operation. Logan was a killer, I knew it the moment he set foot in the lab. He looked smug and aloof, as if he owned the world and nothing could destroy him. I didn't yet realize that, short of a nuclear bomb, that thought was mostly true.

He flirted with me when we first met, but my father didn't approve and told me to stay away from any man like Logan. I was just a girl, curious about boys and men, but my father's word was law, and I avoided Logan at all cost…but I was still intensely interested in him.

Logan was a mutant, the first I'd ever met. He looked like any other man, but he could heal before the eye. I had known of my own abilities for years. The first time I'd healed myself I had cut my arm as I was playing in a park not far from our house. I was a young girl then, not even ten years old. I'd run home to show my mother the large cut on the underside of my foot- I had been playing barefoot with my friends and because we were careless, I had stepped on a piece of glass- but as I watched, the cut had healed before my eyes.

It was terrifying and amazing, much like Logan himself.

My mutation was nothing dangerous, and when I'd shown my father he was not disgusted or afraid. In fact, he hadn't even believed me, since the story was so outlandish. My mother scolded me for playing outside barefoot and for making up weird stories- she said that I either had to prove what had happened or I had to stop lying.

I had to demonstrate to my parents what had happened, so I'd used a sewing needle to prick my hand and we all watched as the tiny hole closed up in no longer than one second. My mother was more concerned that I had hurt myself, but relieved when it was evident that I would heal so quickly. Her main concern had always been for my safety, so of course having this "special gift" as she called it, was a blessing.

As a scientist my father was interested, but he would never hurt me or sit by and allow me to purposely hurt myself to further test my abilities. My parents knew of my mutation, but as it was not a visible change in my person, nor a dangerous power beyond my control, life went on as normal.

Life went on with talks of my grades, and of the bright future ahead of me, and hardly any mention at all of my mutation. I think that as time went on, my parents may have even forgotten from time to time that I was no longer human, but a mutant.

I traveled with my father to Alkali Lake, and there the procedure was done. Logan awoke from over three days of intense surgery and overdosing of powerful painkillers. I watched as he woke up and began to attack the men that he had been friends with only days earlier. The adamantium claws of my own father's design were Logan's weapon as he lashed out at everything that moved in his blind rage and fear.

Logan became Wolverine that day, a true animal.

My father and I had hid in an office while Wolverine attacked the other scientists and doctors in the lab. I cannot remember all that he'd said to me- only that he was sorry, and that he was in over his head, and that William Stryker- the man I had grown up trusting as a second father- was not what he seemed.

We emerged from the office once Wolverine had escaped. The knowledge that that animal was let loose in the world sickened me. I had helped create him- the lives he took would weigh down my soul when the day of my death came.

Stryker was surveying the damage done in the main laboratory when he returned. My father began to yell about the danger that Stryker had let loose, how he had not known of Stryker's vendetta against mutants and that he was leaving to save me from the mad schemes…but William said nothing. He stood still and silent as a statue while my father ranted out his temper.

"I want no more part of this madness, William! I'm leaving and I'm taking Yuriko with me, God help you if you stand in my way-"

But my father did not finish his departing sentence. How could he, with so many of Stryker's bullets in his belly? I ran forward to my father, but Stryker stepped out in front to block me. He grabbed me by the arms and forced me backward, until I was pinned against the wall.

The family friend I had known all my life was gone- this was a madman.

"The Wolverine has escaped, but I know your secret, Yuriko. If I can't have a volunteer for this, I'll take whatever else I can get. You're prettier than Logan, at least."

William had complimented me on my looks once I began to grow from a child into a young lady. I had worn a pink dress one day when I was newly thirteen and made a curtsey to him- I had read that it was a gesture that Americans once made to each other, it was a highly outdated thing to do, but William had understood my attempt to show respect. He'd called me the "prettiest flower in Japan" that day, and bowed to me. It was the first time that a man other than my father had given me such a compliment.

A silly infatuation had started then, and lasted for several years. I was shy around him because of this attraction that I could not hope to understand. I had loved him from afar as a teenaged girl might secretly love a famous musician or an actor.

My feelings for William Stryker had changed as I grew out of my infatuation with him and had since moved on to the boys in my school, but I had always respected and admired him.

I never knew much about William Stryker- but with the innate sympathies of a female, I knew that his life was a sad story. Once of heartbreak, loss and intense anger. William Stryker had lost his family, and robbed me of mine.

He killed any warm feelings I had for him the moment he pulled the trigger to kill my father. I felt a needle in my arm, and then I knew nothing. I don't know where the operations took place, for all I know Stryker may have called in more doctors to set to work on me at the same table where they had operated on Logan.

Days passed, possibly weeks, possibly months.

I awoke one night, earlier than I was meant to and all I could feel was a dull, aching pain throughout my entire body. My vision was blurred, and not helped by the dim lighting of the room where I was being held. I tried willing my mind to snap out of the drug's hold, but it was no use. Even with my healing power, the chemicals were too strong. I could only try to understand what had happened to me.

I heard a muffled sound to my right and started. William sat in a chair beside the cold rack that I'd been strapped to. He was resting his eyes, or perhaps lightly sleeping, but his presence was alarming. I realized then that I was naked, fixed to the table spread-eagle and completely helpless. My body felt heavy and I learned true hate in that moment. The man that had killed my father, betrayed my mother's trust and humiliated me…how long had I been unconscious? Had he touched my body while I was strapped here, unable to stop him? Had my mother been killed as well? Where was I?

A rush of questions, furious words and terrified thoughts flew through my mind, but I could not keep my eyes open for long.

It was much later when I opened my eyes because of voices. My body still ached terribly, and my mind was still clouded from the drugs. My vision was no longer blurred, however, and the lights were on in the room. Other people were in the room with me, all of them were men.

I was still naked and struggled against the straps, desperate so that I might escape to clothe myself before finding a way back to Japan.

"Now, now, Yuriko, don't be so shy. No one's going to hurt you, and you shouldn't be embarrassed anyway- we're all doctors here."

I turned- painfully, there was something wrong with my neck- and found Stryker lounging in front of a desk across the room. He was casual, and smiling at me the way a cat might smile at a cornered mouse.

"I'll kill you, you bastard! How dare you speak to me like this, after what you've done to me! To my father!"

All of this was in Japanese, mind you, and he may have been the only one there who'd understood a word I'd said. I felt rage in my heart, and saw red. Stryker came forward to me and bent my head forward. I caught sight of a syringe in his hand and panicked, but I was truly helpless to anything he wanted to do to me. It made me sick with self-loathing to know how pathetic I must have seemed to everyone else in the room that was watching him.

I felt something warm drip onto my neck and before I knew what was happening, I felt myself sinking. I could feel a tingling creep over my mind, a sinking of my consciousness. It was almost like falling asleep, though I was aware of everything around me.

I could see and hear, I could still feel and smell and taste- though I knew in that moment, trapped deep within my own mind that my body was no longer my own. I had become a weapon, a puppet, and a slave for William Stryker.

He'd removed all that I once was, and named me after himself.

Yuriko Oyama became something of a stage name, it was the name of a girl that no longer existed.

Poor Yuriko Oyama was gone, she became Lady Deathstyrke.


	2. Chapter 2

A few of the doctors advancedat William's orderand quickly dressed me in what seemed like pale blue hospital scrubs. They slipped the loose shirt over my head and all I could do was lift my arms and help them clothe me, much like when a mother puts clothes onto her toddler. The baby can't put the clothes on by himself, but he'll be more than happy to help.

My hair was loose and lank over my shoulders, and I was exhausted, but as I was trapped within the confines of my own mind, I could do nothing but follow the simple commandsgiven tome. I stood when I was told and began walking when the order was given. I was a puppet, a little robot- I saw the satisfaction of all the doctors in the larger room when they witnessed my unquestioning obedience.

I was taken to a small, cold room. It took me nearly a full minute to realize that it had been the room I was given when my father and I had first arrived at the base in Alkali Lake. How long ago had that been? The room was Spartan, with only a narrow bed near a metal table and chair in the corner- the only light came from the ceiling, there was no window.

William Stryker's hand had been resting on the small of my back as he led me into the room. I wanted to turn around and slap him, but as it would remain for years to come, my body was no longer under my control. I could feel a spot on the back of my neck; it felt uncomfortably warm there, as if I'd been burned. William led me inside and closed the door behind us, then turned me around so that I could face him.

His hands rested on my shoulders, and moved down to my upper arms, he was handling me very gently, his hands moving over my skin in a near caress.

"You did very well, Yuriko. Better than I'd expected. I can see that you'll have many uses in the near future," he moved his hands up to my shoulders again, but they did not stop there. I felt his fingertips graze over my collarbones and the sides of my neck before he trailed his hands over my body. He paused only a moment to rest his hands on my breasts before moving lower to circle his arms around my waist.

I was terrified, in my mind I was screaming for him to release me from his hands, to release my newly passive brain from his control, but I couldn't do anything! I was terrified- no man had ever touched me, and here I was being held under his thumb, more helpless than a newborn.

At least a newborn has the luxury to scream.

Stryker was looking at me hungrily, and I could imagine what he was thinking: _Do I have enough time to have my way with her before anyone comes looking for me?_

He continued rubbing me for several more minutes; he put his face close to mine and I felt his rough stubble scratch my cheek, I heard him inhale when he put his face to my hair and his hands smoothed over my back. I felt sick, but before I knew it, he'd left the room, with the door locked behind him.

I stood there in the small room, alone and terrified. I was trapped in so many ways it was unbelievable. Trapped within my own body, trapped in a remote military base, trapped in a foreign country…though the drugs he'd given me did not allow me to cry, they could not restrain the tears that were suddenly pouring from my eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

I was left in the room for a few hours, at least I think it was that long, but I can't be sure one way or another. There was no timepiece in the room, you see. It was a long enough time, however, that the drug- whatever it was- began to wear off. I felt my mind grow a little stronger, but I think William had taken special precautions against me, because it seemed that as my mind grew clearer, my body became weaker.

I first noticed that my hands began to shake, the way they do after going too many hours without a bite to eat. My stomach felt as though it had been filled with lead, and my knees began to buckle. I sat down heavily on the edge to the bed, and I nearly pitched forward and fell on the floor. I felt too weak to sit up, so I laid down on my side.

The ache I'd felt in my stomach began to spread throughout the rest of my body, twisting and burning its way through me. I wanted to cry out from the pain, but I was terrified of making any noise. I worried that if I made any sound, William would come back and do something terrible to me.

I bit down as hard as I could on the inside of my cheek, on my lips and tongue- it wasn't as if I would actually hurt myself in doing so. That thought hit me- I shared the same mutation with Logan, that crazed thing that had killed so many and escaped the base.

He had been implanted with the adamantium claws and then turned into nothing less than a killing machine…what had they done to me…?

I lifted my hands and touched in between my fingers, where Logan's claws were hidden. They actually withdrew into his forearms, and then emerged from his hands by surging forward through the skin of his hands. Is that what they've done to me? Turned me into a metal-clawed monster? Was I meant to be a killer for William?

The burning pain of my body was suddenly replaced with ice-cold rage and terror. My fingers didn't have nails anymore, these…_things_…. metal was emerging from the tips of my fingers…

I tapped my nails together and heard the sound of scraping metal. "Oh, William, what have you done to me…?"

My voice sounded as cold and empty as my heart felt in that moment. I was gone, Yuriko had fled the scene of doom that my life had so suddenly become. I looked down at my hands again, and wondered how much blood I would spill with them before my life came to its end.

I concentrated and felt it happen. Like some odd thing moving inside of me, I felt the adamantium shift inside of my arm, and watched in a fascinated horror as the evil things began to grow from my fingers. In a mere few seconds, a long dagger of adamantium had emerged from my fingertips.

The emerging metal did not hurt, it was strange, not painful. I looked closer and saw that the metal claws were meant to telescope out of me- they were not single blades, as poor Logan's claws had been designed, but interlocking metal joints.

There was a mirror on the wall behind the little metal table and I stumbled over to it, careful not to cut myself with my own claws. I shoved the table out of my way and looked at myself, desperate to find a trace of Yuriko, the girl I'd once been, but she had left me, she was hiding behind a clawed, blue-eyed monster.

I concentrated again and the claws retracted. It became easier after a few more tries and I wondered briefly if William had just provided me with the means to escape from the base. I had an advanced healing factor as my genetic mutation- that's what father had called my special gift. I could heal very quickly, and now William had bestowed upon me indestructible claws.

I would never kill for him, but I would gladly kill for my father. The next moment I saw William Stryker, I would relish in his death.


	3. Chapter 3

For weeks, the only things within my control were my own thoughts. I dreamt of escape, of returning home to my mother in Japan. I would have given my soul just to spend one night in my own bedroom again, rather than wake up in the jail cell of a room I'd been given at the base.

I was allowed my basic freedom, of course. I had privacy to use the bathroom and shower; I was allowed outside the base for a breath of fresh air every day, though I was under constant supervision when I went outside- several soldiers with guns. They kept their distance, and I was grateful for that but I had to wonder if they knew why ten of them had been assigned to keep surveillance over one young woman.

I hadn't seen William for weeks after he escorted me to my quarters on the day I woke up and realized what they'd done to me.

I didn't know what I longed for more; I wanted to see William just as much as I hoped to never lay eyes on that man again. Should I ever see him again, I believed that my rage would be enough to propel me out of the drug's hold and I would be free to kill him with the claws that he'd given to me. To die by his own monstrous creation…no, that would be too fitting an end for him.

The notion came to me that, instead of killing William, I could use the terrible metal things imbedded in me and just scar him so terribly that no one would ever think of him as being human again. If all his visible skin had been slashed off, if he was missing an eye, if he was missing his limbs…I was relatively innocent, but even I knew enough of the world to know that people judged first with their eyes.

William had robbed me of my humanity by turning me into a monster- I could rob him of his by making him what he hated the most: completely powerless.

On the other hand, William terrified me. Imagine if you can, a man that you had grown up thinking of as a second father. A trusted family friend that became a common guest at the dinner table, a man that had attended your grade school recitals and came along on family outings to Tokyo's famous botanical gardens. It was insanity to see William kill my father- they had been friends for years, perhaps even before I'd been born.

William's betrayal was incomprehensible to me. I could never understand how he had changed so easily, sliding out of the façade of our friend and into his true self: a man whose hatred for mutants was so consuming, so intense that he would create monsters like Wolverine and I to use as weapons against them.

William could not see the innocent mutant children, the mutants that would use their powers for good, or even the mutants like me, who were so harmless to others that their mutation barely registered. I did hate William for betraying my family's trust and for killing my father and for what he'd done to me…my rage and hatred for the man was nearly all-consuming.

I say "nearly" because I knew in my heart that something must have happened to William; hatred was a learned behavior, and something terrible in his life must have taught William to hate mutants, hate us so much that he would risk his job, his reputation, his very life in this pursuit to rid the world of mutants. There were times when I could almost pity him, almost sympathize- but then the cold dead eyes of my father would return to me, and I would flex my adamantium, and remember what a monster he really was.

I often dreamt of home, but as is human nature, I became accustomed to the routines at the base and felt that I was never to live a life of my own ever again. There would be no college, no career, no lover, no husband and no children.

I would remain at the base until William decided that it was time for me to kill- it would be forced killing, but the blood would be on my hands nonetheless.

The idea twisted my stomach and at night I would retch at the thought of being forced to kill someone- someone with family, and friends, and dreams of their own. I would no doubt cause the death of dozens of people.

Memories drifted in and out of my drugged mind. In Japan, several of my friends and I had taken martial arts classes. It began as a hobby for me, but I'd trained for years and had even won a few international matches.

William knew this; he'd attended several of them.

I remembered that he'd never taken his eyes off of me when I was fighting- in my naïve infatuation, I'd basked in his attention. How goddamn stupid I had been! Had William been sizing up my merits as a pawn in his war on mutants even then? God! How long had he planned this? How long had he pictured me as his perfect killing machine!

I was a wonderful pawn- no one would suspect violence from such a petite, gentle girl like me. My martial arts training goal had never been to seriously injure my opponent, and never to kill them, although with my years of experience it was entirely possible. I'd never thought I'd use my training outside of the martial arts gym near our home, but I knew that William would force me to kill people.

That sick man…I'm not a killer!

The only man I'd ever even wish to kill was William himself. The reality of my situation weighed heavily on me one day after I'd come back to my room after a thorough examination in the medical lab- they took a full body x-ray and I saw for myself the adamantium was laced all throughout my body, just like Logan. When I went back to my room, I found a sharp business suit waiting for me and a short note in William's handwriting: _'Put this on and come out to the helicopter pad, our work is about to begin.'_


	4. Chapter 4

William had promised me that I'd be put to some sort of use, and he made good on that promise several times over the next years. He refined his drug so that I would appear to be completely normal to anyone that we may encounter, as his little "assignments" were more often than not in public places.

It was not always killing- sometimes it was surveillance, recon, simple observation or straight spying. I didn't mind those types of assignments, although they weren't harmless- all of the missions William forced on me contributed, in one small way or another, to his endless hate of mutants, and his efforts to kill as many of us as possible.

I tried to resist every assignment, but it was useless- the drug was more potent, more powerful than ever before. The redundancy of the office provided to me, along with the endless paperwork, a reprieve of sorts. Yes, I was helping William on his quest to destroy countless innocent lives, but the office was quiet, the paperwork distracting.

It was the killing that gave me the dreams- the image of myself, a monstrosity covered in the blood of innocent people. The first time is always the worst, but don't you ever, _ever_ take that to mean killing gets easier the longer that you do it. For every man or woman that William wanted out of his way, I was the one left to wonder, as I stood over their scarlet-stained bodies, who would miss them when they didn't come home that night. Their lover? Spouse? Children?

It was only for a few moments, in between administrations of the drug, that I would be free to see the world without the serum clouding my eyes. I could hear and see and smell, taste and touch on my own for a few precious minutes. For a five-minute stretch, I could be Yuriko Oyama again; that naïve, gullible child who put so much faith into a man that gave no second thought to killing her father and abusing her in any way he could.

Oh, yes, that part was almost as bad as the killing. I hadn't had any serious boyfriends as I was growing up in Tokyo, I had never "known a man", as is the polite thing to say. To put it more plainly, I had been a virgin before accompanying William on my first assignment- it had been an over-night mission and we had stayed in a hotel room that had one bed…

William had opened the door to our shared room and inwardly, I had balked at the sight of the large bed in the center of the space. He saw me staring at the bed, and noticed my frown. The drug's control over me had not been complete in those early days, I had still been allowed some freedom of facial expression, some movement of body- just not nearly enough to give me half a chance of escape.

"I know you hate me, Yuriko," William had said as he leaned against the window frame, absently gazing down on the world below. Truer words had never been spoken in so simple a way.

"And I know you know what's going to happen tonight, after you've gotten someone out of my way. I won't say I'm sorry, because you know I'm not and I know you wouldn't care even if I was. It doesn't matter, none of it does, because you know you can't change any of it. Get some rest, Yuriko, in a few hours you're going to need your strength."

William's words echoed through my mind for hours after the fact, and I remembered that I had looked over at him as he slept. My thighs were sticky from my blood and our mixed fluids. My body was sore in a way that I'd never before experienced. William had not been gentle, he never had been. I looked at the man sleeping beside me, just as naked as I was, and realized that the drug was wearing off.

William knew when to bend me forward and drip that awful green serum onto my neck- he knew how I hated him. It was growing easier and easier as the seconds ticked by to move my body. The mind was clearing and the body began to respond to my control. I glanced back and forth between William and the clock beside our bed.

Five minutes, ten, fifteen…

I raised my hand and extended the claws. I watched with a detached appreciation as they extended, telescoping from my fingers in silence. Each claw nearly nine inches long, nine inches of indestructible admantium links, locked together to form the talons that had killed a man only hours before.

William had waited for me outside, after disabling the building's security cameras. It had taken a double dose of the serum to make me obey his commands to kill, but in the end I was powerless again. William was there almost like a chaperone- he drove me to the destination, waited for me to finish his task and then drove us back to the hotel.

He couldn't leave behind any evidence of himself at the crime scene, but me- a young woman with no fingerprints in the U.S. criminal records, with no citizenship…I had no name, no face. To anyone that saw me, I was just another Asian woman in a business suit, working in a federal office building.

He had mad the joke of inventing some mutant nickname for me, Lady Deathstryke. The "Deathstryke" deliberately misspelled to reflect William's own last name. It was a way of marrying me to him, to have our names bonded. I hated the nickname, but it helped me to separate myself from what he forced me to do. Lady Deathstryke was that cold-blooded killer, while Yuriko Oyama was the last remaining vestige of innocence, gentleness, and purity.

I held out my hand, marveling at the claws. I held my hand up above William's head, casting a warped shadow on the wall behind us. I had killed a man earlier that night; I could do it again, couldn't I?

Lady Deathstryke was starving for a kill, there was nothing she wanted more than to watch as William gurgled and struggled to breathe…but Yuriko wouldn't allow it.

_I'm not a killer, I'm not a killer…I hate you more than I ever thought it was possible, William, but I won't let you corrupt that last part of me, I won't _choose_ to kill!_

I lowered my arm and laid back on the pillows. I wouldn't give William the power, the satisfaction of realizing, even in his last moments, that he had made me into a murderer.

I glanced at the clock again and felt the throbbing between my legs, remembering what he'd taken from me. _Go ahead, William, take what you can of my body. Like you said, it doesn't matter, because you'll never get my spirit_.

I laid my head back on the pillows for a few more minutes, planning to wait for the last of the drug's hold over me to dissipate before leaving the room, and William, forever. There wasn't unanimous hatred of mutant in the United States. I had seen and read about places where mutants were safe, and I planned on heading for the nearest safe haven, just as soon as the drug weakened a little more, a little more…

I cried out in surprise when William reached for me. He took my shoulder and rolled me over, not giving me a chance to even realize what he was doing. He pressed my face into the pillows and I felt the burning drops sink into my skin.

Moments later, I felt the cloud come over my mind. I became Lady Deathstryke again, William's slave, William's puppet killer. William's monster.


	5. Chapter 5

Lady Deathstryke is an efficient killer. She slips in unnoticed and leaves the scene just as easily, with minimal evidence left behind in her wake. She has a sharp, confident air about her- she has the look of an impressive businesswoman. She wears dark, serious business suits with stiletto pumps, and wears her long dark hair in a low ponytail. Often she wears dark sunglasses to disguise the only physical oddity of her person.

Oh, yes, Lady Deathstryke gives off the perfect aura of complete and perfect control.

To look at her, you'd never know that she was dying on the inside. I hated looking at my reflection- a killer was what stared back at me in the glass. I never knew that just by accompanying my father for what was to be a special project that my life would have gone on the way it has.

My father is dead, and if I can't free myself from William's drugs, I will die too, and truly become Lady Deathstryke. My only freedom is in my mind, there I return home to Japan, to my parents and my friends.

I don't know how I survived the years of William's assassination assignments and his experiments. Yes, he experimented on me- testing to see if my martial arts skills were still sharp by having his soldiers attack me. William told me to hold back- he wanted to know how well I could fight without using my talons. I was meant to hold back, but his soldiers were under no such orders. Not that it mattered- my mutation was a simple healing factor, that's all. No psychic ability, no super-strength, no flight, no element control- all I can do is heal myself.

I would often stay up late into the night and wonder how a healing factor that had once been so boring to me had so quickly given William the idea to find new ways to torture me. It wasn't enough that he had murdered my father, made me his killing slave and whore- no, William wanted to know everything about my power.

He wanted to know how easily my bones would reset themselves after they were broken, how quickly I could heal myself from a third-degree burn and how my organs would repair themselves after I was stabbed…

I thought that William may have been trying to break my spirit, so that one day there would be no need for the drug. He wanted me to be his killer of my own choosing, but inside he must have known that would never happen.

As I said, I always kept up the hope that one day I would be freed somehow of William's hold over me, and the first spark of inspiration came to me almost 15 years after he'd first implanted me with the adamantium and forced me to be his killer. William had begun to make visits to the plastic prison that held Magneto. I didn't know much about this mutant, only that he had once tried to warp the DNA of numerous world leaders in the hope that, if they were mutants themselves, they would allow mutants their basic rights to live without fear.

His attempt backfired, as he and his few mutant comrades were outdone by another group of mutants- former students of a man named Charles Xavier. William would never have told me anything of his past, but I had overhead his soldiers talking about him and what had happened to his family.

Rumors don't hold much truth, but something about his own son being a mutant and the cause of his wife's death seemed to make sense. If, in William's mind, it was a mutation that had taken away his wife and son, then of course he would see all mutations as an enemy. For all of the terrible things that William did to me- he is a genius. He developed the technology to create the adamantium laced through my, and countless other mutants' bodies. He developed the plastic prison where the Magneto was being held.

William had devised the plan to capture and manipulate Charles Xavier into harming mutants. I knew that my time on the earth was limited- when Charles would kill the global population of mutants, I would be among the first to go. After all, I was in the eye of the storm.

I went along with William to the plastic prison only one time, and it was there that I had my first glimpse of Magneto, Xavier and Cyclops. William had given me orders to collect Xavier from the plastic prison cell, but I knew I had to try to do something, anything to stop him. I went in too late- my idea had been to show myself to Magneto. I would have had to subdue the guards, but I wouldn't have killed them, I would have just fought them off as quickly as I could before going to Magneto.

I had seen a few select video clips of the man that called himself Magneto. He was intelligent, very sharp, and unbelievably powerful. It shocked me that Magneto had been held for as long as he had in his prison- perhaps he had been just biding his time, waiting to find out exactly what it was that William was planning. He withstood the beatings of his guard, and William's interrogations just for the sake of information.

In my mind, I had planned a scenario- I would have fought off the guards, set the tunneled bridge out to his cell, walked through the door and said to him, "Magneto, I'm a mutant, William Stryker has made plans to kill us all! You know that I have metal in my body; I know you can sense it, the adamantium is indestructible. Let me help you, together we can escape to save the rest of our race!"

I fought against the drug as strongly as I could, but it was as powerful as ever, and all I could accomplish was giving myself a terrible headache from the effort. I fought Cyclops, knocked him unconscious- screaming inside as I did so. Had I been free, he would have helped me and the others to escape William's plastic fortress, we could have made it…

When I turned to release the bridge to Magneto's cell, both he and professor Xavier were unconscious- some form of gas vapor that had knocked them out.

I stepped over to Magneto. He was slumped against the back wall of his cell, his eyes were glazed over and his mouth was slightly opened. He looked older than I had expected, and much more haggard. It had to be the abuse he'd been suffering throughout his imprisonment. I could see a large bruise on the right side of his face, there were dark circles under his eyes and stubble shaded his jaw. Lying there on the floor, Magneto didn't look powerful at all. Where had the great mutant liberator gone? Where was his dignity, his commanding presence and his magnetic powers?

I wondered idly if he could sense my adamantium, but like me, he was too trapped in his drugged state to do anything about it. I hated him then, which was silly because he'd done nothing to me, but I hated him for being as weak as I had been, to fall prey to mere chemicals. He was our most powerful defender, and here he was, lying on the floor in a drugged stupor- where's the dignity in this?

I knew that William had won.

He had captured Xavier and together they would end us all. I tried to cut myself as I lied in bed the next few nights, hoping to bleed myself dry but of course it was impossible- a cut would heal itself before a drop of blood would escape. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I've as good as killed the entire planet! Countless mutants would die because of my idiot gullibility!

It was strange, having never met him before, but I felt even worse knowing that Magneto would see me as a traitor if he knew that a mutant had played such a major role in this mass murder.

William had his plan carefully laid out, but the one thing he hadn't counted on was that Xavier's students and Magneto himself knew where his base was located and they had wasted no time in their attack. I was cheering inside as I watched William begin to despair. Something was happening to the dam of Alkali Lake- the base would be flooded.

William took a moment to calm himself and he then gave me the strangest look- hatred, anger, jealousy and lust all rolled into one. He motioned for me to follow him, and the drug forced me forward. He didn't bother telling me to wipe the smirk off my face- he knew that he was finished. The X-men mutants and Magneto would somehow stop Xavier from going through with William's plans.

His only option was to escape, even if only so that he might fight another day. He led me through a lab that I recognized instantly- it was the same lab where he'd created me, it was the lab where Lady Deathstryke had been born.

Logan had reappeared, and I knew that it was here, in this lab where Lady Deathstryke would die.


	6. Chapter 6

Logan did not remember me, though it was not surprising. I had grown over the years, while he looked very much the same. He was tall and strong, rugged and primal. William knew what he had to do, and so he left me with one final order: do anything it takes to kill Wolverine.

I let William run to the safety of the helicopter that was waiting on top of the base, and faced my opponent. Logan was a man that had flirted with me once, when I was barely more than a little girl who had tagged along on her father's business trip. He did not know who I was or what had become of me- all he knew was that I was standing between him and all the answers to his past.

I pushed him back, and he drew his claws. It occurred to me that none of the mutants attacking the base had ever seen my talons. For once, I marveled at the reaction they drew. Logan's eyes widened, not in the terror that my assassination victims always displayed, but just in the simple understanding that he should not underestimate me.

"Holy shit."

Yes, Wolverine, it seems that Lady Deathstryke is more than meets the eye, doesn't it? She is just like you, but unlike you, she had been made a slave for over a decade while you were free to live…anger, irrational and stupid, rang out through my brain. For once it was not Lady Deathstryke fighting alone, but Yuriko as well. I hated Wolverine- if he hadn't attacked the base and ran away all those years ago, William wouldn't have had reason to kill my father, to use me as his adamantium project, to use me as his whore, his assassin, his slave!

I felt furious and despairing over what my life had amounted to- my freedom had been taken from me when I was seventeen, from then on the only vestige left of myself had been in my mind. The drug was still in my system, compelling me to obey William's command that I fight Wolverine for as long as it took so that he could make his escape. I knew that the dam would flood soon, but I didn't care.

I would die this day, from Logan or the water, and it didn't matter- I had died too long ago.

What followed between Logan and I was nothing more than a dirty knife fight. Stab, slash, slice, scratch, punch, kick…endless, endless violence! I don't recall exactly how it happened, my mind had been clouded, not only by the drug, but also my rage and despair.

I had my claws imbedded in Logan's back, the metal shredding the delicate tissues of his muscles and organs. I could feel his wounds healing around my metal talons even as I-

What? What is-?

I looked down to see one of the large injection needles protruding from my stomach. Looking back up to Logan, things suddenly became clear. His face softened toward me, and he stared deeply into my eyes. I felt adamantium course through my body without precision or accuracy- like water, it seeped into any space that it could find.

The drug's hold was released- my mind and body were my own again, I looked back to Logan and I couldn't say anything. I suddenly felt so sad, and then I began to shed adamantium tears. The metal leaked from my eyes, my nostrils and the corners of my mouth.

I felt myself slip down the edge of the tank, the water tasted stale and salty. I heard a distant _clang_ and realized, just before my end, that it had been the sound of my body sinking to the bottom, where I would remain forever…

No!

Voices, muffled and distant, yet closer than they were moments ago…I forced my eyes to open. I was alive, impossible, but I was still alive, and damned if I wasn't going to help myself now. I could see shapes, blurred through the tank's dingy glass and water. Help me, please, I don't want to die like this, all alone in such a terrible place…

The shapes came closer, but my lungs were filling with the murky water and the adamantium was putting enormous pressure on my chest- I was dying, but I didn't want to die alone in the tank where the first terrors of my life took place.

Please…


	7. Chapter 7

"I remember her, she was working with Stryker the entire time."

"Under the influence of that vile serum he whipped up, no doubt. She, like Kurt and Scott, must have been drugged-"

"Do we know that?"

"I can't think of any other explanation."

"Well, what if…?"

"Yes?"

"What if she hadn't been under his control? What if she knew about it the entire time?"

"A mutant aiding the destruction of our race? Impossible! If she _was_ helping him, then maybe Stryker was right all along in his quest to kill us all…"

I heard voices often, floating throughout the room where I was lying on a bed. I couldn't understand what had happened to me at first, but soon my memories had flooded back. I'd been fighting Logan until he'd pumped me full of liquid adamantium.

I had died.

I had felt my body absorb the metal into my system, I had _tasted_ the metal, I had _cried_ it. Where was I now? In a hospital? Who had found me? How was I still alive? Questions raced through my mind, but I soon slipped into unconsciousness with great relief. I was not yet ready to meet my saviors.

I knew that at least a day had passed when I woke up, and I was feeling much better. I opened my eyes and felt my brain come alive on its own, with no drugs in my body to cloud my senses. I lifted my hand and clenched a fist, marveling at the simplicity of an action made of my own free will. It had been so long since I was free of William's drug, so long since I had been free at all.

Sitting up, I looked around the room. It was small, but there was enough room for my bed, a few comfortable chairs, a desk and a door that led into what I assumed was either a closet or a bathroom. There was a door on the opposite side of the room that was cracked open, and I could see a little way down a hall.

The healing factor was taking care of me- I felt better than I had in a long time, but that may have just had to do with the absence of drugs in my system. I felt almost giddy at the freedom, but just as quickly dread welled up in my chest and squeezed my heart. I was free now, but where was I? Where the people that saved me planning on being as benevolent when they found out I was awake?

The paranoia swept over me, and I extended my claws. I had never thought that I'd be grateful for the murderous things, but over the years I had come to accept them as a part of my body- I could hardly remember a time when I possessed anything less than talons. I stood from the bed and realized that I was wearing a plain, cotton nightgown. I scowled, hating the knowledge that someone had stripped me while I was unconscious and then put me in this frumpy bag of a nightshirt.

I went to the second door and found that it was a closet after all. A woman's closet…where _was_ I?

The clothes inside were colorful- something I had missed dearly as I was forced to wear bland, dark colors while under William's influence. I felt angry and defiant, promising to kill him the moment I had the chance, as soon as I found out what had happened at the Alkali base.

I quickly changed into whoever's clothes where in the closet- a pair of dark denim jeans (a little too long at the ankles), a lavender blouse that fit surprisingly well and a pair of sneakers that, while not flopping off my feet like clown shoes, were half a size too large- it was all that was available, I'd take what I could get. Under the blouse I donned a tight white tank top to use as an undershirt, and I filched a pair of clean underwear from the top drawer of a little bureau against the back wall of the closet. It's common knowledge that sharing clothes- especially underwear- is less than sanitary, but at the time I didn't care; I would have worn a burlap sack with matching slippers if it meant I could keep my freedom.

The clothes were nothing, my main concern was finding out exactly what had happened to me.

Dressed and feeling much more secure, I ventured out of the room and went down the hallway. The walls were hardwood and I thought for a while that I could've been in a hotel. There were other rooms, though each one I checked seemed to be empty. The rooms were empty, though not unoccupied. Several of the rooms I'd checked into were decorated and arranged with the personal touches of several different types of personalities.

The differences between the sexes occupying the rooms were fairly obvious. The boys' rooms were generally darker in color. The bedspreads and sheets were blue and green plaid, or just solid colors. Most of the boys' rooms smelled like Burberry cologne and had movie posters on the wall, or pictures of family resting on the nightstands. The girls' rooms were lighter in color and brighter in overall theme. Some of them had butterflies stenciled on the walls, and most of the girls' desks were cluttered with folded laundry, textbooks and makeup.

I stepped into the room of one of the girls and took a closer look at what was on a desk. The textbook was for high school level algebra. I frowned; was I at a school? Then, the thought struck me that the only place I could be was at Xavier's mutant school. I dropped the textbook and went back out to the hall. I had to find him and demand to know what happened at the base and how I could repay him for saving me. I was free now, free, free, free!

I had to tell him everything- everything from the first day I came to America with my father to my final fight with Logan at the base. I couldn't see anyone and the school was so big that I didn't know where to look for the professor. Would he be in a main office, or in his personal room?

I suddenly felt frantic and started into a light jog down the hall. The hall of bedroom quarters opened up into the main foyer of the grand mansion. I glanced down and stopped dead in my tracks.


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, look who's finally awake!"

I glanced down to the first floor of the mansion. Logan and Charles Xavier were lounging about downstairs. No one appeared hostile, in fact they seemed almost welcoming, if a little wary. I felt tense in dealing with these strangers on my own- after so many years under William's control, my social skills were lacking. In the prison of my mind I had held long, drawn out conversations with myself and other characters I'd invented just to keep myself sane- but it had been well over a decade since I'd spoken for myself.

I stepped down the stairs, moving slowly so as not to seem hostile. I had to remind myself that the last time Logan saw me we had been locked in the most vicious fight of my entire life. I didn't want violence, I just wanted freedom. I had reached the bottom of the stairs and was moving forward slowly, and I'd even raised my hands in a show of peaceful intention.

Logan had raised an eyebrow at me and seemed like he couldn't understand what I was doing. I stood before Xavier and lowered my hands. The man was as understated as he was impressive. He didn't seem the least bit worried that I would attack, but then again I had to remind myself that if he sensed even for a second that I would attack, he could enter my mind to stop me in my tracks.

"Good afternoon, miss. How are you feeling?"

I blinked and fumbled for the words; it felt like I was speaking for the very first time. "I feel…I am feeling better now…"

Xavier took my halting words in stride. "Ah, I'm glad to hear it. If you're hungry, there's a full kitchen on this floor. I'd be more than happy to- I'm sorry, but what's the matter?"

I hadn't realized it, but tears were coursing down my cheeks. This was my moment, I had finally been freed of William, I was Yuriko again…

"I'm Yuriko…"

"I'm sorry miss, I didn't quite catch that, what did you say?"

Glancing up, Xavier had rolled forward slightly to better hear me, and Logan seemed to be closer as well. "I'm Yuriko!" I exclaimed. "I'm Yuriko, my name is Yuriko!"

I was smiling through the tears. I felt like singing! I wanted to dance! I felt my knees buckle and then Logan's hands were gripping my arms, and he'd hoisted me up. He brought me over to a chair and helped me sit down. "I'm Yuriko, I'm Yuriko…"

"Jesus, what the hell's wrong with her?" I heard Logan ask.

"I think she might be in shock, Logan. You saw Stryker's files for yourself- there's no telling what he put her through over the years, and depending on the dosage of serum he'd used, she may be experiencing memory loss or even some brain damage. I won't know for sure until she allows me to have a closer look."

"Is she-? I mean, she's not, you know, crazy or anything, right?"

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. It was humiliating that Logan had seen me as Stryker's puppet killer, Lady Deathstryke. I didn't want him to see me as Yuriko, and think that I was a lunatic.

"Logan, no. I'm not crazy…there is no memory loss, Mr. Xavier. I'm just…it's been so long since I've been free. The bird is out of the cage, do you understand?" I fumbled for the right words, desperate to make myself understood.

Xavier wheeled in close. "Please tell me what happened, but not here. Classes will be ending soon and something tells me that this won't be a discussion for prying ears. Would you like to talk now? There is no rush. This is a safe haven for mutants and you're welcome to stay for as long as you like- my home is your home, as the saying goes."

I liked Xavier, he was being kind and I appreciated that he wasn't rushing into the painful events of my past. I'd been moving and speaking of my own free will for just under 20 minutes, and I was in no hurry to dive right back into how it felt to be under someone else's control.

The questions could come later- I would wait, because Xavier was right, there was no rush just yet. I wanted to get my bearings, explore, readjust to just being _me_. Logan had backed off once he saw the proof that I was sane and no danger to Xavier, and he sauntered off down a hidden hallway.

I watched him leave, and wondered if he even remembered me as the shy, gawky teenager he'd flirted with all those years ago before he became Wolverine and I became Lady Deathstryke.

Xavier offered to give me a tour of the mansion school grounds and I felt agreeable to anything he suggested. I was free, I could fly and dance and sing…I was free to be peaceful and I made a vow to myself as Xavier and I crossed through an expansive garden that I would never fight again unless it was to defend my freedom.

I hated being forced to kill, and I had killed many people. From what I understood, all of my victims were fighting for mutants, rather than against them. I wanted to atone for the damage to my race that William had forced me to inflict by fighting for mutants…but not just yet. Give me time, please. Give me time to remember what grass and flowers and trees smelled like, what fresh air felt like on my skin, what it was to feel safe.

Give me time to be Yuriko again, to see with my own eyes and to speak my native language again. Let me be Yuriko again for a time- time enough to talk to Xavier about what William had done to me and to thank whoever it was that saved me from a destined eternity under the icy waters of Alkali Lake.

When I've had my time to live, Lady Deathstryke will take her place in this, the great fight for mutants.


	9. Chapter 9

Xavier introduced me to many of the students, and all of the teachers. It gave me a heavy heart to learn that the mansion was several members short after the events that took place at the Alkali base. My guilt must have been radiating off of me in waves, because Xavier took me aside and told me that he knew I had nothing to do with William's plans, that I was just a pawn and had been powerless to stop what had happened.

It didn't make me feel better.

I had been staying in a spare bedroom in the east wing of the mansion, wearing the borrowed clothes from students and a few of the other female staff. Ororo had been one of Xavier's first students, and she had been the one to come to me with the suggestion of leaving the mansion for a while.

I had been in my room, staring out the window, watching some students playing soccer outside. Logan had told me what William had done- his soldiers had attacked this school and abducted some of the students so that he could test Xavier's determination to kill innocent mutants.

"Hey,"

I turned and found Ororo in the open doorway. She had a worried smile on her face, and I knew that I was the reason for her worry. Since I had been awoken from what turned out to be a coma of four weeks long, I knew that I had been less than open to any sort of friendship with them. My guilt and shame kept most everyone at arm's length, except for Xavier- there was nothing I could hide from him, but he'd never pressured me to talk.

"Yuriko, um, I was about to head into the city for a little while and I wondered if you might want to join me?"

I liked Ororo, I really and truly did, but I held onto the fear that she blamed me for the death of her friend Jean Grey. I did want to leave the school for a few hours, to escape just for a bit.

"Oh, Ororo, yes, I'll be right there," I replied. I wondered why it was that she was inviting me to go out, and it occurred to me that Xavier might have instructed her to try making friends with me. I trusted no one in the mansion completely, but in the time that I'd been there no one had seemed to harbor any hostile feelings toward me- but I had known William all of my life and he'd never given me a reason not to trust him either, had he?

Ororo chose one of the cars from the estate garage and she headed out toward New York, speeding around most of the turns in the road and tearing down the highway. I admired her driving skills, she had an obvious taste for danger and the adrenaline that came along with it.

Is this how she came to be one of the X-men? Did Xavier select the brightest and boldest from all of his students to become members of his task force, or did they elect themselves?

Ororo parked the car and we made small-talk as we window-shopped before finally giving in to temptation and buying a few new additions to our wardrobes. Ororo insisted that I choose whatever I liked- she said that I needed my own clothes, rather than continue borrowing the mismatching items from every other female in the mansion.

It was strange for me to realize it, but I had never had a regular girlfriend to shop with. Growing up in Japan, I had had friends over from school but we had rarely had the extra time or money to shop together, and of course William had never let me out of his sight.

I felt awkward when she didn't bat an eye over all the things she bought for me- I wanted to be accepted at the mutant school, I wanted the sense of family that she seemed to share with Xavier, Logan and the students. It seems childish to say it, but I just wanted somewhere to belong.

"Oh, don't worry about the money. If the mansion wasn't indication enough, Charles has plenty of money to spare and I'm sure that he'd be happy to buy a few things for you himself, but he had a few classes of his own today," Ororo explained as we put the bags in the car trunk.

"Are you sure that he wouldn't mind?" I didn't want to appear as a charity case to these people.

"Trust me, if he could, he would have come along, but he doesn't leave the school very often, he sometimes finds it awkward with the wheelchair." She said as she started the engine and turned onto the street.

"He feels that the wheelchair gets in the way? The how was he able to help me?" I blurted. The question had been plaguing me, I wanted to know how they had known where to find me in the base and how they had been able to remove the adamantium from within my body.

Ororo raised her brows and flipped back a lock of her snowy hair. "Help you? What do you mean?"

"Ororo, I haven't asked Xavier about what happened to me. Do you know? Where you the one who found me? I don't remember anything. How did we escape from the base at Alkali Lake, how is it that I survived?" I hadn't meant to ask her everything all at once, but there was no way that I could ask her one question without asking her all of them.

"All right, Yuriko, slow down, ok? I do know what happened- or, I at least know part of it. But it you want to know everything, you'll need to go to the source. When we get back home, you need to ask Charles."

I knew that Ororo was right- it was time to stop putting it off, it was time to find out the truth.


	10. Chapter 10

Ororo led me to Xavier's main office, and as we strode in through the doors, he looked up at us. "I see you're ready to find out what happened at Alkali," he declared before we were even fully over the threshold.

I stood up to my full height, suddenly taken with the idea that it was time for me to stop behaving like a child. Since I'd been awoken from the coma, and freed of William's control, I had, in a strange way, reverted to the mindset I'd carried as the young girl who'd tagged along on her father's business trip. I'd been sweet and gentle, polite and so well-mannered that one might have thought I'd never learned words beyond "Thank you so much," and "You are so very kind."

I'd done so much bowing and scraping in trying to be accepted by these people that I was beginning to remind myself of a timid little geisha. It was time for that to end- I had to somehow meld the two parts of myself together.

I didn't want to be the cold-blooded murderer of Lady Deathstryke, nor the naïve little Yuriko. I wanted…I just wanted…

"Yuriko, are you ready to know the truth?"

Xavier's deep voice jolted me. "Oh, yes, it's time I understood what happened."

"Very well. It's an involved story, and involves more people than just you and I. Have a seat, and we'll get started."

I moved forward and sat down before his wheelchair. Ororo stepped out of the office and closed the door behind her, while Xavier leaned toward me. "I could just tell you what went on while we were there, but it might be easier if I should just show you."

I understood what he meant; Xavier could use his power to show me through his own eyes what happened at the base. I nodded only once and my eyes fluttered as I felt his fingertips brush over my temples.

It began slowly, and I realized that Xavier was not showing me what had happened through his eyes, but he was bringing my own memories up to the forefront of my mind. I was back in the murky tank, the adamantium slowly hardening within my body. I heard voices coming closer, and I relived the supreme effort it took from me just to lift my hand against the glass.

Darkness faded in and out as I struggled to keep conscious while my healing factor desperately tried to keep me alive. I heard a man's voice, a woman's voice.

"I've seen her before, her name is Yuriko. Stryker's personal assistant-"

"I know who she is. I've seen her before. Come, she has little time. I can save her but we must leave the base."

The images spun through my mind until I remembered the name of the man that had saved me. Magneto.


	11. Chapter 11

Xavier explained to me that it had been Magneto- or as he called him, Eric- who had lifted me from the tank in the lab; it had been Eric who removed the adamantium from my body. Xavier said that Eric had recognized my desperate need for medical attention, and the day after the flooding of Alkali, he'd brought me to the mutant school.

"Why? I don't understand it, why would Magneto help me? He thinks I'm a traitor, he knows that I'd been helping William all along for years." I said, leaning forward slightly in the chair before his polished oak desk.

"No, Yuriko, Eric had been subjected to Stryker's drugs himself, and he can understand, as well as Kurt and Scott, that you were powerless to stop what happened."

Xavier's words went a long way in comforting me, but I felt that I was treading water in a sea of uncertainty. Logan had killed me, Magneto had saved me, Xavier had sheltered me, Ororo had befriended me…

I felt confused, lost and tired of living off of Xavier's charity. I'd been free for quite some time already, but I hadn't done anything even remotely productive. Paranoia seeped into my mind- everyone at the school probably thought that I was lazy and had nothing to offer to earn my keep.

I wanted to talk to someone, but there was no one to talk to- no one who could understand my feelings. I looked up to Xavier again, and I could see the sympathy in his soft brown eyes. I didn't know who or what I was anymore- a mutant? A killer? Yuriko? Lady Deathstryke?

I stood from the chair and left Xavier's office. He didn't try to stop me; he seemed to understand that I wanted a little time alone to think. The grounds of the school are beautiful- there is a large pond in the center of several flower gardens, and there are majestic trees lining the edges of the property. I didn't want to languish in the gardens where anyone could see me, so I cut across and headed straight for the trunk of the nearest tall tree.

It had been a while since I'd last used my talons, but I extended them now, and felt the thrill in my blood. Over the years, I'd rarely used my claws for a reason other than causing some kind of destruction; the thrill I felt was my mind associating my claws with dangers and excitement.

No, I'm not hurting anyone now, I just want to get away from it all for a little while… 

I dug my talons into the bark of the tree and climbed. I didn't go all the way up to the top branches, in fact I stopped about 30 feet above the ground. I had a good view of the school and gardens, and if I turned the other way I could see the sun setting.

"Been up there long?"

I turned so fast that I nearly lost my balance on the branch. Looking down, I saw Logan standing at the base of the tree. A faint whiff of cigar smoke and leather caught my attention, but I didn't know what to say. By now Logan knew everything that had happened to me, and I'm sure that he realized William had meant for him to be in my place all along.

Logan was meant to be the assassin at command, but perhaps it had always been in William's plans to have me at his side in one way or another. I didn't want to think about it.

"I just wanted a little time-"

"I know what you wanted, but I know from experience that if you take too much time alone, it'll drive you crazy. Penny for your thoughts?"

I stared down at him, but I didn't climb down the tree. I didn't know what I should do, but Logan made the decision for me. "If you don't want to come down and talk to me, I'll just climb up there and keep you some company."

Logan tossed the cigar aside and released his claws. I remembered the feel of his claws slicing into my stomach, and when I saw the grimace on his face I felt a pang of sorrow for him that his claws should hurt him so much. He wasted no time in climbing the tree and trapping me on my branch.

"So, say something."

"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry that I assisted William and my father in designing your claws? I'm sorry for having nothing to offer the school?"

I thought he would be angry once he heard me admit to being on the design team, but he didn't bat an eye. "Hey, if we're going to start apologizing for things we couldn't have helped, then I think I should go first. I'm sorry I woke up and attacked all the lab guys, I'm sorry I ran and that Stryker had to use you instead. I'm sorry for almost killing you back at Alkali, and for being a little less than friendly when you woke up here."

I felt the salty sting of tears in the corner of my eyes. "Why are you doing this, Logan? Why are you being so nice to me after all that I've done?"

"Because nothing you did was any of your fault. We both know that you had no control over the years, and I know for a fact that you wouldn't willingly go along with all that happened."

"I didn't want to do anything he made me do…but that's in the past now, and I don't know what to do with myself now that I'm free. I can't go on living here with nothing to do, I don't feel whole…I'm sorry, I know it doesn't make any sense."

Logan shook his head. "No, it makes a little sense. Imagine feeling that way for over 10 years- lost, with nothing and no one to keep you grounded. I can't believe I have to make this speech again…"

"What do you mean?"

"You know that girl, Rogue? She felt like she didn't belong here, either. She got all the way to the train station and was more than ready to just disappear. I caught up with her and somehow managed to convince her to stay. Anyway, I think Xavier knew how you were feeling and he sent me out here."

"Xavier sent you? Why?"

"Well, he had a hunch that you were feeling kind of useless, and he's been working on a special kind of project for you. Scott, he's…well, he's taken some time off, and the students could use a new training teacher. Teach them how to fight, just in case the school is ever attacked again and they might have to fight- only as a last resort, or so Xavier says."

"He wants me to stay here, and be a teacher?" I felt a new joy swell in my chest, almost overwhelming me with its passion.

"Yeah, and there's something else. When the time comes, there's a suit waiting for you in your room."

"He wants me to be one of the X-men?"

Logan shrugged and looked away. "Well, there is an opening," he seemed sad for a moment, but then he looked back at me and smiled for the first time that day. "Besides, if that fight in the lab was any indication, I don't think that we could've chosen a better girl for the job."

I nearly cried with joy when Logan led me to my bedroom and I laid eyes on my own X suit. I was to be a teacher, a warrior for mutants to repair the damage I'd been forced to inflict, I was accepted, I finally felt that I had somewhere to belong…

My name is Yuriko Oyama, and sometimes Lady Deathstryke- and I am finally free.


End file.
